Dealing with Coaching Burnout: When to Step Back

After 8 years of coaching travel softball, I hit a wall. I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I was irritable with players, dreaded practices, and counted down the days until the season ended. I was burned out.

Recognizing the Signs

Burnout doesn't happen overnight. Here's what I experienced:

  • Constant fatigue - Not physical, but mental exhaustion

  • Loss of enthusiasm - Things that used to excite me felt like chores

  • Irritability - Snapping at players over minor mistakes

  • Detachment - Going through the motions without caring

  • Physical symptoms - Headaches, poor sleep, loss of appetite

    • If you're experiencing 3 or more of these, you might be burned out.

    Why It Happens

    For me, it was a combination of:

  • Too much commitment - Coaching year-round with no breaks

  • Parent drama - Constant texts, complaints, unrealistic expectations

  • Win-at-all-costs pressure - From parents, club directors, and myself

  • No boundaries - I was available 24/7 to everyone

  • Losing sight of why I started - I forgot I did this because I love the game

    • What I Did About It

    I took a hard look at my situation and made changes:

    1. I Took a Season Off

    This was scary. I worried the team would fall apart or parents would be angry. But I needed space to remember why I loved coaching. The team survived. The world didn't end.

    2. I Set Boundaries

    When I came back:

  • No texts/emails after 8pm

  • No coaching discussions within 24 hours of games

  • One day per week completely off from softball

  • Automatic "out of office" responses on vacation

    • 3. I Delegated More

    I didn't have to do everything. I gave assistant coaches more responsibilities. I let team parents handle logistics. I focused on coaching, not managing every detail.

    4. I Redefined Success

    I stopped measuring success only by wins. I started celebrating:

  • Players' improvement

  • Positive team culture

  • Life lessons learned through sports

  • The joy of competition

    • 5. I Prioritized My Well-Being

    I started exercising regularly, eating better, and sleeping more. I scheduled time with friends who had nothing to do with softball. I read books for pleasure.

    When to Walk Away Completely

    Sometimes taking a break isn't enough. Consider walking away if:

  • You consistently dread coaching

  • It's affecting your mental or physical health

  • Your family relationships are suffering

  • You're coaching for the wrong reasons (ego, pressure, money)

  • You've tried changes but still feel miserable

    • There's no shame in stepping away. You can't pour from an empty cup.

    The Outcome

    I came back after one season off. I implemented boundaries. I delegated. I redefined success. And I'm enjoying coaching again—maybe more than ever.

    But if I hadn't taken that break, I would have quit entirely. Sometimes stepping back is what allows you to move forward.

    Key Takeaways

  • Burnout is real and affects many coaches—you're not alone

  • Recognize the signs early before it gets worse

  • Set firm boundaries around your time and energy

  • Take breaks—even a season off can reset your perspective

  • It's okay to walk away if coaching is no longer serving you

Remember: you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of your team.